1. what_the_crap
Working the door and two obviously underage girls come up. They give me their ID’s.
“Are you two friends?”
“Best Friends!”
I look at one girl and ask, “What’s your friends name.” They looked at each other and left.
2. DoctorSausage
Girl I vaguely knew from around came into a local bar when I was 18. I recognized because she’s around the same age as my younger brother. She was at most 15 (drinking age in my country is 18) at the time and trying to buy a double vodka and coke. So I ask her for an ID, and surprise, surprise, she has one. Hands it to me for a look and I see that it’s not even a fake, it’s the ID of a girl about 4 years older than her, who I also know. “This is not your ID” “Yes it is” “I know girl’s name very well” “Oh. Sorry” She then left. I laugh whenever I see her.
3. burquena_loca
I worked in a steak restaurant and my co worker lost her ID at the bar next door one night after work, one week later a girl came in and tried to order a drink from the bartender using my co workers ID. Busted!
4. coolifiparkhere
Guy tried to use his friend’s passport. The friend was sitting right next to him and was a different race.
5. Mordenstein
I pulled this one off a few times.
I was 19 or 20, trying to buy some beer. I simply banked on the stupidity of the tellers in my town. I handed them my REAL id, with my REAL birthdate on it. Once, the guy glanced at it and handed it back. I don’t think he really cared, if he did notice.
The second time, the guy said, “You’re not 21 yet, are you?” “Sure I am!” He reads the ID a few more times, looks up to the ceiling while silently mumbling numbers, then let me by.
The third time I got cussed out pretty badly. He wasn’t having any of my trickery.
6. noir666
Buying alcohol in the US, get told I’m not allowed to, at 22 years old. When I asked her why, she said because Canadians are not allowed to buy any alcohol in the US. Got the girlfriend’s American friend to buy the booze. But that was really odd reason to be turned away.
7. jofassa
My friend was “busted” like this: “Anchorman” came out our freshman year of college, so of course, my friend goes as Ron Burgundy. He nails it, awesome polyester suit, giant fake mustache, the whole nine. After pre-gaming pretty hard, he gets to the bar and hands the door guy his ID. “Are you sure?” The bouncer asks. My friend manages to slur out “Oh yeah! You might want to let me in, I’m kind of a big deal.” After a long pause, the door guy says, “Alright, just tip well.” My friend gets home and realizes he left his fake ID in his room, he had shown the bouncer his real, under age ID.
8. JohnnyBrillcream
Bouncer story. I was a bartender and I was working the end of the bar close to the door. I heard the bouncer “arguing” with a person trying to get in, kept telling him it wasn’t him. After a few yes it is/no it isn’t he walked the guy over to me at the bar, points at me and say, it’s him. The kid had my driver license. I had lost my wallet a few weeks earlier. Poor kid.
9. hippocratical
Preface: in England legal drinking age is 18, but it’s pretty common to start going to pubs at 16.
So, barman me has 3 obviously 16 year olds walk in on a quiet weekday afternoon. One of them comes up to order, and manages to spit out his order in between nervous “ums…” and “ers…” Now is a chance for literal karma, as some kindly barman served me when I was his age. “Listen” I say “That was pretty terrible. You’ve got to be more confident if you’re going to pull this off. Why don’t you go sit down, think about what you’re going to say, and then come back and try again?” So, back he goes, nervously chats to his also nervous buddies, and then comes back. Sure enough, this time his voice doesn’t break, and he successfully returns to his table with beer.
I was so proud. Like an alcoholic father.
10. sunshiineeegal
Not a bartender, but last year I went out to the Chicago downtown area. I was constantly laughed at because I had, ” the worst fake” any of the bars had seen. I was 23 at the time and was using my Iowa Driver’s License.
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11. Duck_Size
My girlfriend went out all the time in high school using her sister’s ID. One night a bouncer denied her and held on to the ID. Knowing she couldn’t return home without the ID, which she had stolen from her sister, she demanded that he return it. He told her to go talk to the cops across the street if it was such a big deal. So, she walks straight up to the cops and tells them her ID has been stolen by the bouncer, she doesn’t care anymore about entering the bar but doesn’t want to drive home without ID. The cops have a look at the card and tell the bouncer that it’s obviously hers, they could charge him for petty theft and he should be more careful.
12. nappers_delight
Got an ID that wasn’t obviously fake at first glance, but something seemed…well, just off about the picture. So I asked the guy what his middle name was. It was listed on his ID as David or Daniel or something. His response? “Um….D?”
13. 372xpg
Twice in the past month, one with some Brazilian kid and again with a local. If you are going to come out with your fake ID, don’t keep your real ID in your wallet right next to it! I’ll want to see that and you’ll be embarrassed.
I like having fun with people when I’m checking ids, my favorite is telling girls my eyes are up here (why do people look down after giving me id?) Or trying to get them to make the same face, etc, I love working in a bar, the fun makes up for the worst messes and assholes. I could write a book…
14. InsomniaFTW
Best story I know: My cousin was a bouncer at a bar in his hometown. A girl he didn’t know walks up to him and hands him the ID. He recognizes the ID, because its his girlfriend’s ID. So he’s about to let her and her friend in, because they must be friends with his girlfriend, right, so he asks “How do you know Rebecca* (name changed to protect the innocent). Her response, “I am Rebecca.” “No. You’re not. Rebecca’s my girlfriend. I’ll let you in- I just want to know how you know her.” “Then I guess you’re my boyfriend then.” He told her and her friend to wait for a sec, and then got his buddy Phil* to come out. Phil was an off-duty cop, and even though Phil was three sheets to the wind, and could barely stand up, apparently the sight of a badge and handcuffs got the underage girls to burst into tears and admit to pickpocketing the ID off of my cousin’s girlfriend.
15. jsink
Bartender here who just doesn’t give a shit. Honestly if you don’t look 14 and show me a fake I.D. that seems moderately reasonable, I’ll take it and give you a drink because there are approximately zero ways that I can get into trouble for that. If a police officer does a sting, they can only present you with either a. an expired I.D. or b. an I.D. that clearly states that the person trying to order a drink is underage.
16. kmsilent
Was bartending, noticed a young kid drinking. Asked him for his ID. He hands me an ID. I ask him what his name is and he replies, “My name is Ryan Smith”. I reply, “that’s funny, because I know Ryan Smith, and you definitely aren’t him”. The kid was clearly out for his first drink at a bar and had a look of defeat on his face so complete that I almost felt like letting him stay.
17. ShamelessMasochist
One time a bouncer looked at my actual drivers license and said, “Fake ID doesn’t work here mate, it doesn’t even look like you.” I immediately replied “How the fuck can it not look like me if it is me?” He handed it back and I walked in. Felt like a badass for 5 minutes.
18. Golgi_Apparati
I used to work at a horse track as a bartender. It was the best job ever. The best part was that most of the clientele were degenerate drunks so there was a lot of security. Because of this, I didn’t have to take shit from ANYONE.
Anytime I got attitude or some kid who was underage making a scene or especially someone who asked to see my “manager” I would just go call security instead. Within 60 seconds a couple suits would show up and kindly escort them out the front door.
19. ChitChatJuiJitsu
McLovin IDs were annoying as piss. First one, a little amusing. After seeing them a few dozen times it gets old. I, personally, loved any ID that had a holographic “Seal of Authenticity”. Might as well have “Not A Fake!!” on it. Next time don’t be so fucking eager.
20. blackunderpants
I live with my family in Sweden but my father is spending a year in Boston, studying. One night he was going to a bar with some friends. When they get to the door the doorman is REALLY strict. My dad is 48 and looks like it too; he has a small beer gut and a beard. That is not enough for the doorman who asks for ID. My dad shows him his Swedish driver’s license, but apparently that’s too foreign or some bullshit. He then shows a photocopy of his passport that he happened to have on him. He was denied to get inside that night.
I think it’s good to be strict with 20-ish year olds but with people like my dad it’s just bullshit.
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21. PunchyCoolidge
Always keep the ID and kick them out immediately. Funniest time was on a Friday night. This girl came in and applied about a week prior. We KNEW she was 19. So I’m walking through the bar to take a quick smoke break and I see her as I’m walking. She tried to act all nonchalant and turn away even though she made eye contact and had that “oh shit” face on, but I go right over to her and tell her kindly to get out. The guy she was with was hammered and tried to take a swing at me. Well, he didn’t see the jacked bouncer right behind him and as he brought his arm back to give me a nice big haymaker, the bouncer swung his arm right under this guys arm and around his torso/neck area and pretty much rock-bottomed this dude into oblivion. It was incredible. One of my favorite moments from my bar-tending career.
22. spinozasrobot
I worked at a 7-11 back when NY had licenses with no pictures, which made it a lot harder to catch people using other people’s licenses. My trick was to ask them to sign a piece of paper, and I’d compare how close the signatures were. One time a seriously drunk person came in and wanted to buy beer. He handed me the license and I did my thing, asking him to sign a piece of paper. I held up the license and the paper to him, he looked, took the license and walked out.
He had signed his real name.
23. glkmaple
Former bouncer here. Once a kid tried to use his friends ID to get in, I took it because he couldn’t spell “his” last name on the ID. Friend comes to get the ID saying it was his and how he doesn’t want to pay 75$ to get a new one from the DMV. After telling him repeatedly he wasn’t going to get it back he threatened to bring police into the mix. I gladly agreed on the idea. Police officer shows up, we both explain our sides of the story. Police officer says “Well you can go get a new ID for 75$ or you can go to jail for attempting to providing to a minor and providing false information to a police officer.” Guy does a 180 and walks away head down.
24. fartsmucker
I was working the door at a bar onetime and I had a young Asian guy and a white guy come to the door and try to walk in. I asked them for IDs and they gave a bit of a story. I told them they both need state issued IDs and over 21 to get in. They walked away and minutes later the Asian guy came back (No sign of the white guy) with a legit ID and I let him in. 20 Minutes later the white guy comes back and presents me the Asian guy’s ID (must have passed it through a opening somewhere). I couldn’t figure out if they thought I was dumb or really cool. I rejected the white guy at the door and took the ID and told the white guy to send the Asian guy back. The Asian guy came back and gave him back his ID and told him not to come back.
25. DrLeoMarvin
I used to use my older brother’s expired license at bars. We looked similar enough that I got away with it regularly. One night in Asheville at the Pizza and Brew Co they were smart enough and called me out. I said fine, don’t serve me, but give me my license back. He said he can either keep it, or call the police and have them give it back to me so I said fuck it and left.
A couple years later, when I was 21, my friend was a bartender at the buffalo wild wings there. Cops came in on a training day to teach the staff how to spot fakes and my brother’s ID was used as an example (watch for expired). He was trying so hard not to laugh as they passed it around.
26. elevatorfairy
I’m not a bartender, but when I was working as a hostess in a restaurant a girl to order drinks using MY drivers license that’s had lost years ago! The bouncer took it away and gave it back to me. What are the chances…
27. sap_guru
This happened to me when I was 16 (the legal drinking age is 18 here). Me (nervous): “Can I have a beer please?” Barman (condescending): “A beer? That’s how they order in the movies. In real life you have to ask for a specific brand. Come back when you’re old enough to know that.” Me (defeated) just leaves.
28. maxifer
A couple weeks ago a guy came up and asked for a beer, I looked at his ID which was 1995 or so. I told him no and he was like “what? why not?” “Because you’re 18.” He’s just like “wait, what? Let me see that.” Takes the ID back and hands me the fake that he meant to give me originally. I just kept it and he walked away.
29. randalflagg1423
Wasn’t a bartender, just selling alcohol at a restaurant. But had one guy come in who was obviously in his 60s and asked for a beer. He is 100% old enough so I don’t ask for ID. He hands me one anyways and it is a fake. I just said sir you are obviously old enough to buy beer why do you need a fake ID? He just grabbed the beer and left. One of my weirder encounters.
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